Mother's Day

I think a lot of people view Mother's Day the way I used to view Valentine's Day--as an excuse to feel sorry/guilty about their current situation in life.  So I thought I'd make a weak attempt to change your perspective about a potentially painful day.

The best Mother's Day I've had was before I ever had kids.  When I woke up that morning, Johnny had a necklace on his pillow for me, an uncharacteristically romantic thing.  He told me Mother's Day was for me because one day I would be the mother of his children.  We went to church and all the women 18 and older got flowers, which subsequently died in my house a few days later, but that was due to my brown thumb, and not a reflection on the gesture, which reinforced what Johnny had told me.  I felt important and wonderful because I had the potential to become a mother.  I was never a better mother than I was on that day.

There is no such thing as a perfect mother.  I have never met a perfect mother.  There has never been a perfect mother.  So many times on Mother's Day I've seen people try to pin perfection on what was merely some woman's attempt to do the best she could to raise children.  This has never bothered me because I see that it is just nostalgic reminiscence of a perfect moment.  It's reassuring to me that children recognize and remember perfect moments, even after they've grown.  Because there are no perfect mothers, but each of us has perfect moments.  Lots of perfect moments.  In my short time as a mother I can find dozens and dozens of these moments when I thought, "Yes!  I said the right thing.  I handled that well.  I took advantage of that teaching moment.  I get it.  I can do this."

There are no perfect mothers because no one is capable of perfecting themselves.  But all of us are perfect mothers, even if it's just one small moment at a time.

I hope Mother's Day for you will not be a time of guilt, or pain, or offense, because of who you think you aren't.  But rather a celebration of who you are-- a woman. Despite what society, or the media, or the world tries to tell us, our legacy as teachers, friends, and mothers is those moments of perfect love.  And ultimately, our best efforts are good enough.