Siblings

Last Thursday, The Captain suggested we take some sibling pictures, "like when Lee was born".  It ended up being the highlight of a really crappy day.  You know the saying about doctor's children, right?  Well, here is what happens when a photographer tries to photograph her own children . . . 

One cooperates

Then silliness

Probably the best shot

Lee's like, "these kids is crazy"

At least Joy looks normal

Deadpan

I think the older two are plotting something.
I think Lee can tell.

The baby looks cute, so naturally no one else does.

And finally, everyone says they're done.

Baby Game

 I didn't realize how right everyone is when they say that my babies look alike until I put together this little game.  Here is a picture of each of my children - no I didn't cheat and put one in more than once - around the same age, asleep and in black and white to avoid possible color cues.  Can you guess who is who?

Baby 1

Baby 2

Baby 3

Lee's birth story

Stats: born May 25, 2014 6:40pm 7lbs. 4 oz. 20 inches

TLDR: born at home; 12 hour labor; posterior = 40 mins. of pushing.

When I tell people I had Lee at home, they always say, "you're so brave". By which, of course, they mean, "you're really stupid". I'm grateful they are polite and willing to respect my decision, but I don't blame them. Most people don't consider home birth an option and therefore know little about it, and it seems very risky. When we were attending childbirth classes before The Captain was born, I would have considered a home birth, but Johnny was against it.  He didn't want to risk anything happening to me or the baby. Even so, I spent 7 out of 9 hours of labor with him at home.  Then after everything that happened when Joy was born, Johnny became very supportive of home births, as long as it was planned and there were professionals attending, and he never had to deliver a baby again.  That seemed like a good deal to me.  So I was really happy when we moved to Texas because I knew there would be plenty of opportunities to find a home birth midwife.  I found at least 3 or 4 practices online when we moved here, and when I got pregnant I called one in my town.  Unfortunately, she was having a baby around the same time, so she referred me to her midwife.  Let me tell you, a midwife's midwife is a pretty safe bet.  Kristine was great.  I've been so lucky to have wonderful midwives for each of my children's births, and since I've lived in a different state for each of them, I can say there's bound to be a wonderful midwife near you.  

Anyway, onto the story.  I woke up Sunday morning around 6:30 having contractions.  I knew right away I was in labor, and I was pretty excited that Lee was coming in May instead of waiting until her due date in June.  And since it was Memorial Day weekend, I was glad my predictions had been accurate.  I made breakfast and ate with the kids.  I waited until 9 to text my midwife.  I told her I was going to have the baby that day, but that I'd let her know when things got serious so she wouldn't have to come until then.  She was at another birth, so she was a little worried.  She knew what happened with Joy, so she had someone else lined up to come if she wasn't finished with the other birth in time.  Luckily, things worked out and she could be there for both of us.  

I spent the morning hanging out with the kids, making dinner, and getting everyone ready for church.  Our church starts at 1, and while my contractions weren't consistent yet, I knew things could go really fast, so Johnny and I decided it would be best if I stayed home.  Joy had fallen asleep on the couch, so Johnny took The Captain and went to church, with the understanding that he could be back in 15 minutes and I would call if things started to pick up.  

I was not having any problems focusing or relaxing during contractions, but I remembered my panic during Joy's labor, so I wanted to do things that would keep me relaxed.  I decided to watch the show Too Cute on Netflix thinking cute baby animals would surely help me feel good.  It turned out better than I could have hoped because a lot of the episodes are actually cat or dog birth stories and you follow litters of puppies or kittens from birth to several weeks old when they are ready for adoption.  It kept me very focused and relaxed.  Relaxed enough, in fact, to take a nap.  I woke up around 3:30 pm and so did Joy, so we snuggled together on the couch to watch the cute kitties and puppies.  

Shortly after Johnny and The Captain came home around 4:15, things started to get regular.  When I had been having contractions every 5 minutes for an hour, I texted Kristine again.  She asked if she needed to come over.  I told her in another hour, probably, but wise woman that she was, she left right away.  Which was indeed a good decision because 20 minutes later, I sent her another message saying she should come now, and she was only 5 minutes away.  

Transition was just three or four extra long contractions in a row and by the end I had moved into my room to get ready.  Johnny put on a movie for the kids, told The Captain to let in Kristine when she got there, and came in the room to find a soothing Spotify station and set up the speaker.  It took two or three tries, but he ended up finding an amazing station that played calming classical music and lullabies.  It was so perfect to have a sweet lullaby playing for Lee when she was born.  

I started pushing shortly after Kristine got there.  I was laying on my side because that's what I did for Joy and it worked well that time, but it was not working well now.  I was fighting myself a little.  Consequently, I was getting worn out and very discouraged.  Johnny was rubbing my back and always touching me, which was both appreciated and annoying.  What I really wanted was some verbal encouragement and support, but since I always seem to be unable to talk during labor, I was not clear in this request.  I did say a  few times between contractions that I didn't think I could do this, which was how I felt pretty much the whole time pushing.  I honestly didn't think I'd be able to get that baby out.  My water broke, but I was just not pushing very effectively.  My midwife suggested I try a different position so I went on my hands and knees.  That was much better because I could collapse forward between contractions, cat stretching style, and rest my head on my pillow.  Sometime in there, the other midwife, Margie, arrived.  She's one of Kristine's students and is training to be a midwife after much doula experience, so she was wonderful to have around (and responsible for the pictures). She started massaging and stretching me between contractions which was so relieving and allowed me to fully relax between contractions.  It was maddening because every time I pushed, Lee would only move centimeters and then when the contraction was over she would slip entirely back into my uterus.  She did eventually come out, 40 minutes later, facing the wrong way, which explained to everyone why it had taken so long and been so difficult.  Despite that, she had a perfectly round head.  She looked like a Cesarean baby, and she looked just like The Captain and Joy.  That was the first thing my midwives said--that she looks so much like her siblings.  They couldn't get over it.  So I guess I have cookie cutter children, or at least, cookie cutter babies.  

Lee was perfect.  She cried and cried like a champ.  She peed a lot right after she was born, and then peed again when I finally held her a few minutes later.  I didn't hold her right away because I needed a few minutes for myself.  I was so relieved and amazed and proud of myself that I actually did it.  I hadn't thought I'd be strong enough, and it was such a huge sense of accomplishment.  I was just crying and crying and shaking, and I knew I should lay down so I could meet Lee and finish with everything, but my midwives told me to just take a minute.  I wish I could describe how wise and wonderful they are.  At one point, after I had said I couldn't do it, probably for the umpteenth time, Kristine said, "Tara, you don't have to be superwoman, you just have to be strong enough for this".  

And two minutes after she was born, everyone was there to meet her and hug everyone.  The Captain and Joy fell in love right away and have been so great with Lee.  The love to hold her and touch her and have never felt jealous of the time she takes up.  

This hair is courtesy of me grabbing and pulling it during every contraction in Phase 2.

Johnny politely declined cutting the umbilical cord. And said he was so happy to not be on the business side of things this time.

I love how The Captain's hand snuck into this picture.  It's so appropriate because he has really taken charge of Lee.  I told Johnny the other day that The Captain was my baby, Joy was his baby, and Lee is The Captain's baby.  In fact, I need to take a moment to talk about how awesome The Captain was with this whole experience.  

The Captain had come with me and Joy to many of my midwife appointments, so he was familiar with them; and I had talked to him about what would happen when I was in labor.  We watched a home birth on YouTube and I explained things.  He was not interested in watching, but I was glad he knew what to expect and what was normal so he wouldn't worry.  When Kristine came he was so excited to open the door, and he was very serious when he told her where I was and how to get there and said I was having a baby today.  (She was very impressed as she told me this later.)  She also said that he would periodically open the door to check on me.  He didn't come in, just peeked his head in to make sure everything was okay.  I didn't know that.  I did know that Johnny left a few times to check on them, but he always managed to come back in time for my next contraction.  I was grateful for that, since I really needed him there.  The Captain has taken charge of holding and calming Lee, and loves to be in charge of her.  He has allowed me to take some great naps, for which I am extremely grateful.  

I know home births aren't for everyone, just like natural birth isn't for everyone, and induction isn't, or elected c-sections, etc.  There's no universally right way to labor.  All I know is that labor is about surrender.  You eventually have to give in to what your body is doing, confront the pain, and focus on the present.  Labor is a wonderful preparation for motherhood, and parallels a lot of philosophies on life.  But location plays a big part in your success in surrendering.  You need to be in an environment where you feel safe.  With The Captain, it was not the hospital.  I didn't want to go, and it was by far the worst part of the experience with that labor.  But with Joy, it was not my house.  I was not prepared for a home birth, I was freaking out and I had a much harder labor because of it.  This time, I finally got what I needed.  I felt free and in control in my house.  I was so prepared and was surrounded by people who cared about me.  I felt supported and cared for, and so very safe.  Margie told me at my checkup afterwards that she has never seen anyone so fully surrendered to Labor Land, and it was because I was able to be at home.  My labor was perfect.  Hard, so very hard, but perfect. I obviously wouldn't recommend home births to everyone, but would advocate educating yourself to the options available, and finding a place where you can allow yourself to surrender.  

Lately

While you wait for giant posts and baby pictures, I thought I'd share what we've been up to lately.

The Captain has decided his job is to combine strange dress-ups together to make me laugh.

Cat Super Hero

Monster Doctor Explorer with Sock Hands!

Robot.  Bonus points for anyone who identifies what I was watching.

Of course, Joy has to join in with her favorite costume, the dinosaur. 

I hope you guessed before this picture, cause that's just a give away.

Here is when she discovered she had a tail.

 And today we went to the library for the family movie and the circus clowns.  Both kids loved it.

I'm not sure who Joy is looking at, but she missed the "mommy is taking the picture" memo.

 Now all the kids want to do is play circus.  So hopefully that will keep them busy for a few days.

Easter

Yes, I know, Easter was so one month ago, but I am catching up, people.  And we're almost done.  Just in time for me to have a baby and get really behind again. Anyway, Easter.  Yes.  We celebrated that.  We went to a giant Easter egg hunt at a baptist church near us.

 As you can see, the fields were full of eggs.  Johnny said they looked like they had been sprinkled.  

They had four fields divided by age.  Joy was at the top of her age group, which was babies to 3.  

She took her time and picked out the eggs she wanted.

Mostly it was the ones with the most designs.  

I'm pretty sure The Captain's field went the quickest.  They were done about 30 seconds into the hunt.  Joy's group lasted 5 minutes or so.  This place was great.  They have playgrounds and a splash area.  For this event they had bounce houses set up.  We stayed and played.  I got my second sunburn of the year.  We ran into several of our friends.  It was a great day.  

For actual Easter, we died some Easter eggs after breakfast, since we have so much time before church starts at 1.  Joy actually let me do her hair, which is always a good time.

Joy has had a bloody nose since our North Carolina trip.  It's just because of actual sores on her nose that scab up, which blocks her nose, so we have to peal them off, which makes them bleed . . . it's a vicious cycle.  Anyway that is not why she is so sad.

She's sad because she cracked four of the eggs after playing with them when I told her not to.  

We had egg salad for lunch.  

Joy wasn't the only good looking one.  The Captain looked spiffy as well.

After church, we had our own Easter egg hunt in the back yard.  

Making sure there are no eggs left.

As promised, a whole bunch of beach pictures. 

By the end of the week, we had great weather.  I was a little worn out, though, so the grandparents took the kiddos to the beach one afternoon without me while I took a nap or something equally nice.  The next day, Johnny was back, the weather was nice, so we spent a few hours on the beach.  The kids were ecstatic that the sand castle they had made the day before was still standing.  I was pretty impressed, too.  Thanks everyone else with our same private access to the beach!

 Everyone run to the ocean!

 Joy was very distressed that Daddy was swimming in the ocean.

 See, swimming in the ocean.  The ocean, people!

So, knowing no fear, Joy rushed in to save him.  Luckily, Johnny was mostly back in at that point.

 My in-laws taking their daily walk together.

This is what 32 weeks pregnant looks like.  That, or there's some weird bend in my straw-like shadow that I should get looked at . . . 

 Building a sand castle with Daddy. 

 Destroying the middle of the sand castle.

 Building some sort of retaining wall.  I was too far away to hear that conversation.

 The Captain jumping over waves.

 Beach race!

Vacation Number 2 - The Beach

So as a graduation present, Johnny's parents invited us to stay at a timeshare condo with them for a week in Atlantic Beach.  It was wonderful.  Johnny, of course, had to work.  He rented a car and drove back to our old stomping grounds in Virginia, but I got to hang out with the kids and the grandparents at the beach.  What could be better?  

I guess the title of this post is misleading since this was actually our third vacation this year.  It's just the second one in a row.  And it was only April, wow.  Don't worry, we're done traveling until after this next baby gets here.  Which is coming sooner than I'd like to think about.  

Anyway . . . we were really close to one of North Carolina's aquariums, so we had to go.  As you can see from the jackets, it was a bit chilly, but weather in the 60s isn't bad.  It was still warm enough to play at the beach, play at the vacation property (which had an indoor pool, so that made it easy), and explore around the neighboring towns.  

We brought our own dinners and ate really well.  I was super sick of eating out.  That being said, we did go out Saturday night when we drove it because it was pretty late, so we went to IHOP and breakfast for dinner is never a bad thing.  Sunday was General Conference, so we stayed in and I made a bunch of hair bows while I listened.  I think this was the first Conference since I've had kids that they were able to keep themselves entertained.  It was wonderful.  Granted, our internet connection was horrible, so we only got to watch Sunday Morning, but it was still great.  Monday we had to take Johnny to the local airport to rent a car, so we spent the rest of the day playing at the park, playing mini golf (The Captain's new favorite thing), and generally relaxing.  We went to the beach every day, of course, but we didn't always bust out all the toys on account of the chilly weather.  We also went to the aquarium, the fort, and historic part of the neighboring city, known for its pirates.  I may have bought some pirate hats for our dress up.  

Well, enough talking, here are some pictures:

The Captain wanted to take pictures on every statute.

Here's the frog.

On the Nature Hike that is part of the aquarium.
The kids loved the floating bridge over the lake that got our feet wet.

Petting the rays.  Joy's favorite thing.  She loved how soft they were.
Even though there were a few school groups there that day, the rays
really loved to be petted, and seemed to like Joy a lot.
She also liked petting the crabs in the tide pool area.

Chase the sharks!
We saw and talked to divers in the shark tank twice.

Joy was mad at me, I don't remember why, so during the second
divers' presentation, she walked behind me to brood by this fish
tank.  It's complicated as to why I didn't go chase her down.
We'll stalk this one up to advanced pregnancy.

The Captain -- turtle doctor extraordinaire.

The two turtle doctors and their patients.

Making sand castles with grandpa.

Up next: tons of beach pictures.