So I stayed up way too late the other night watching one of the worst movies ever made that have stolen time from me. Yes, I wasted at least two and a half hours that I'll never be able to get back, and even more sad, I could have been sleeping. So sad. So, in honor of this pathetic occasion, I have decided to compose a Top Ten Worst Movies I've Ever Seen list, in order one being the very worst of all time. Not that I'll be able to complete it now, but here's just a taste:
1- Just A Walk in the Park
This one is an ABC Family original production . . . enough said. Not Jane Krakowski's best work (I saw her in London). But it did create some fabulous bonding between me and one of my first roommates.
2- I Love Trouble
This was the movie in question from the other night. Why would any smart journalist, like Julia Roberts is supposed to play, sleep with a guy after accidentally getting married after he abandons her barely clad self to be gawked at by a boy scout troup . . . with cameras!
3-Star Wars II: Revenge of the Sith
It's a shame when men become so rich that people are afraid to tell them that they can't write. Lucas's scripts are awful. And I'm an English major, I can tell bad writing. This one was the worst yet. Luckily for me I haven't seen the third one yet. Is everyone in that movie blind to Anikan's humongously dark aura. And poor Natalie Portman, she delivered all of her lines as if she was ashamed to have to speak such horrible dialogue. And did anyone really belive her reaction to Anikan's news that he had just killed an entire villiage, not just the men, but the women and children too. Hello! don't comfort the boy, run! That's a giant red flag!
4- Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace
Again, the script is horrible, but the acting is even worse. Who was in charge of hiring that little boy to play Anikan. And Jar Jar . . . don't get me started. It's a good thing the other ones are classics.
5-Autumn in New York
First of all, I don't like Richard Gere. I'm sorry but he is not attractive. He acts like he is, and his attitude has fooled millions, but he cannot fool me. Secondly, there was far too much tongue shown in this movie, and he was in love with Winona Rider's mother before he started on her. Does no one else see so much wrong with this senerio?
6-Election
I really am a Matthew Broaderick fan. He's done some great stuff, but this movie isn't on that list. And with Reese Witherspoon this movie appears to have a lot going for it. But don't be fooled, the lying, cheating and stealing and the cover ups that go with them that normally make a good movie combine horribly in this film, which just ends up crude. It definitely left me with a dirty taste in my mouth.
7-The Remake of The Music Man
Here's another Matthew Broaderick flop. Not even Victor Garber could save this movie. I just didn't think any of the filming looked original. They tried to copy the first one, which is classic and brilliant, but ended up with a sad second. Word to the wise, if you're going to remake, actually remake something, rethink the point and make it relivant. Plus, the singing in this wasn't that refreshing. I was disappointed.
8-The Home Teachers
I'm not a huge fan of any so called "church films", but this one was particularly horrendous. So here's a tribute to all those film makers who just don't know when to stop.
9-Fear Dot Com
I don't like scary movies, but this one was just stupid. I'm a little ashamed to say I've seen it. But it was a remarkably unscary scary movie. And I scare easily. It was predictable not original, with no really scary ghost or presence, and no good plot. A good scary movie should have at least one of these things.
10-America's Sweethearts
An all time low on the romantic comedy front, despite its all-star cast. Billy Crystal is just crude as a writer. This was just a headache movie, if you know what I mean. The only thing worth watching it for is for a glimpse behind the scenes of hollywood. And what you hope behind-the-scenes is never like (but secretly think maybe it is).
As with all my lists, this one is still fluid and is subject to change upon further contemplation.
6 comments:
I just have one rebuttle my dearest, Richard Gere is cute. Have you seen him in Runaway Bride...very sexy. ANyway, you must see Star Wars Episode III. I think it might just make up for the other too. The parentals and I saw "Churchball" the other week. It was pretty cute.
p.s. I think you should add sliding doors to your list.
p.s. I think you should add sliding doors to your list.
First of all, Tea, Richard Gere isn't cute, not even in Runaway Bride. Sorry. And second, Sliding Doors is on my top ten favorite movie list. I don't understand why you don't like it, it's brilliant.
I would add to the list Message in a Bottle and In and Out. Both were absolutely horrendous. As far as Richard Gere, I have mixed feelings. He isn't cute, but he just acts so darn sexy . . . so I guess it depends on if I'm in a mood for a man who is truly attractive, or one who can just make me think he is.
Grrr, I hate when I accidentally double post. But I'm glad I'm not the only one who does it!
Post a Comment